Last night I watched the profound film, Seven Pounds, starring Will Smith.  When I heard about the movie last year, I honestly did not want to see it, fearing it would be too sad or gruesome for my melancholy self.  Finally watching it, I found it to be extremely meaningful and redemptive, even though sad.  It was not one of those movies that leaves you feeling depressed and hopeless about life, even though the content is intensely serious and fraught with tragedy.  If you have no idea what movie I’m talking about, check out the synopsis.

Without giving too much away, the film is about a young man plagued by guilt and sorrow because of the death of his wife and six other strangers in a car crash at his hands.  He decides to commit suicide so that he can save the lives of others he deems more worthy of living.  The movie appears to some to be condoning suicide.  I do not feel this is the case.  If anything, the movie is a tribute to living and the value of life.  The main character, played by Will Smith, is a wealthy success, and his life is turned upside down by tragedy.  He wrongly assumes he is not worthy of living and decides he will take his life and give his organs to others.  He then births an elaborate plan to research and find out the character of possible recipients before his planned time of death. 

The tricky part is that during the process of finding worthy recipients, he finds reason and desire to live himself.  In the end he still sacrifices his life for a greather love.  He begins his quest as someone who doesn’t deserve or want to live, and he ends as a real hero, dying for another to live.  In a way he points to the redemptive story.  Let me explain.

My brother, in real life and real time, needs a heart transplant.  Twelve years ago he suffered from a complex immune reaction , which caused his own body to attack his heart tissue, leaving it badly damaged.  He has had many life-threatening conditions since that time, and he has faced each one of them with courage and a positive outlook.  He truly is a hero to me because he never complains, even though his life has been significantly limited by his health condition.  This damaged heart of his has undergone open heart surgery to repair damaged valves, and now years later, it has almost gone as far as it can go.

This puts me in a unique position as I hope for a heart for my brother.  I want him to have a new heart.  I yearn for him to have a new leash on life.  I dread the process and fear the possibilities at times, yet I cannot deny that I hope he will have a successful heart transplant.  For this to happen means that someone, someone whom I will never meet, someone who is alive now with people who love them, someone with a life and a family and hopes and dreams, will have to die.  Someone will have to die for my brother to live.  What a sobering reality.  I do not want another someone to die, but I want my brother to live.

It was in this context that I watched Seven Pounds last night.  And it is with deep gratitude that I will thank God for a new heart if and when my brother receives it.  If I ever get the chance I will thank the family of the person who is an organ donor, so that my brother will live. 

By the way, I have become an organ donor through this experience of watching my brother’s heart issues.  I figure, if I die by some tragedy, why shouldn’t someone be able to live through the gift of my organs.  It is important to let your loved ones know if you want to be an organ donor.  If you would like to find out more about how to become a donor, read about it at OrganDonor.gov.  And if you want to watch a movie that will make you think about life and what it is all about, watch Seven Pounds.  I’ve written about my thoughts on suicide here, so please do not take this movie as an encouragement to take your own life.

I’ve always loved tadpoles, ever since I was a little girl and would see them in streams and ponds.  I especially loved to watch them in my Aunt Eunice’s goldfish pool.  This year I decided to try watching some of them metamorph into frogs.  This was after two failed attempts a couple of years ago.  We ordered a couple of tadpoles from a biological supply company.  We also caught a few others in a huge puddle in the woods this spring when we had so much rain.  I watched and cared for them best I could, while all but one died.  I figured it was almost time to count this as another failed attempt and watched daily, expecting to find the little guy dead.

After about three months, the strongest one still survived.  One happy morning I looked in on him and noticed tiny, almost see-through hindlegs.  They grew quickly over the next week, and almost overnight front legs emerged.  He still had a long tail, and I figured it would take awhile for it to shrink.  But it shrunk to a stubby little thing overnight and was gone completely in three days.  What a wonder of nature to watch a frog emerge from a polywog!  And our little treefrog (no larger than half an inch) is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen!  Check out what it looks like here, best I can tell.  Funny thing is, it started thriving and transforming when I stopped feeding it the “tadpole” food from the company and began giving it goldfish food! 

I loved, loved, loved being part of a “reformed” church and learning the catechism.  For me this was new, though I did grow up being “catechized” but not with the rich Westminister Catechism.  Even now, though I might enjoy reading through the questions and answers, I only really remember and think about the first few, and these are the children’s version, which suits me fine.

Who made you?

God made me.

What else did God make?

God made all things.

Why did God make you and all things?

God made me and all things for his glory.

How can you glorify God?

By loving him and doing what he commands.

Okay, I’ll be honest.  This is where it gets fuzzy for me.  I glorify God by loving him and doing what he commands.  This is obviously a Biblical truth.  It is also an underlying truth Biblically that I cannot  “love him and do what he commands.”  No matter how hard I try, no matter what resolutions I make or how many sermons I hear or worship songs I sing to try to pump me up, I simply cannot do it.  This is the part of the gospel we most often miss, and it is a huge loss to try to live the Christian life without it.

I can’t be good.  And the really wacky thing is that the more I think I am good and the more I try to make myself good, the less I really am glorifying God.  Huh?  Say what?  It is NOT my goodness that glorifies God. Let me say that again.  It is not my goodness that glorifies God.  It aint. 

Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick.”  It is the sick among us, the “not good” ones, who know we need a doctor.  And it is this need that is critical in glorifying God.

How do I glorify God?  By getting my wings broken one too many times and realizing I can’t fly without him.  By falling flat on my face until I stop trying life on my on terms, even if those terms were a very religious life.  By being bruised so much by a life that hurts so that I finally listen and believe when he says he loves me, just because.  These things glorify God.

How can I make such a shocking claim?  How can my failures, my lack, my need glorify God?  It really is a strange idea to our preconditioned ears and minds.  But what does it mean to “glorify” anyway?  It means to make big or to honor or to make shine.  Well, how exactly does our trying to be good glorify God’s goodness?  It can be (and often is) argued that we are supposed to try to reflect the goodness of God by our actions.  As a skilledcounselor (ahem) would ask, “How’s that working for you?”  I would argue that when we do this, we often delude ourselves into believing we are good in and of ourselves and we get the glory for it.  Not much lifting up or making big of God in that, is there?  I would also argue that this kind of living isn’t often very attractive to others, because it seems unattainable. 

On the other hand, when I fail, when I am weak, when I can’t love, can’t see, can’t understand, can’t even believe, in other words, when I need God, he is glorified.  He becomes bigger in my life, not bigger than he already is.  That is impossible.  But he is bigger in my life.  He can be seen a little brighter in my darkness.  I have been so freed up by this truth that I just want to shout it from the mountain tops!

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.  He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.  1 Cor. 1:27-29

We glorify God most when we need him.  When we have nothing to boast of before him.  That way he looks good, not me.  He is strong, not me.  He is wise, not me.  He alone is God.

 Listen to this beautiful song by David Ruis entitled “Sweet Mercies.”  It says it all.

I just finished the second book in Ted Dekker’s Circle trilogy.  The first book was Black, which I wrote about here.  The above image comes from the Books-a-Million website where you can purchase the book and read a review.  It tells the redemptive story of the Bible in a fresh, captivating way, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  If you’re looking for something different to read, and I mean really different, and if you enjoy fantasy, you just might like this trilogy. 

How weird is this?!  I woke up this morning and opened my phone to see it randomly on the screen with the song “I’d Rather Have Jesus.”  I pushed “play” and listened to this song while remembering a special time in my life and a unique story.  Back in college I used to sing this song for Sunday schools and other groups.  I sang it with an interpreter to an entire church in Tokyo, Japan on a missions trip.  After the song, a sweet little Japanese lady came up to me and told me she had trusted Christ during the song.  Apparently, friends had been telling her about Christianity and Jesus for a long time, and the song is what God used to finally capture her heart.  Anyway, I have no idea why this was on the screen on my phone this morning, but I listened and it reminded me of this special event in my life.  More importantly, it reminded me what a treasure Jesus is.  I really would rather have Jesus than anything, but it isn’t because I’m so good, but because he is.

The above comic comes from Brian the Angry Art Teacher.  It is a humorous expression of a common lack of understanding.  Probably one of the most misunderstood and misquoted Scriptures is “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”  The correct quote comes from Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.“  Another Proverb states, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

Question is, what is the rod?  This article is an interesting and thought-provoking summary of the rod as an idea of instruction and loving discipline, rather than a big stick.  Hmmmm.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this idea, and it makes a lot of sense to me in light of other Scripture.  Listen to this favorite verse from Psalm 23 in light of the above:  I will fear no evil, for you are with me.  Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

These verses both use the same word for rod, shebet, but because of our cultural conditioning, we think of them very differently.  We love being comforted by the words of Psalm 23, and then we somehow move on to Proverbs and think we are supposed to use utmost strictness when dealing with our children, so that we do not dare “spoil the child”, which we’ve already shown is extra-Biblical. 

Let’s look at the Proverbs verse in light of the Psalm scripture.  He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.  This is the same rod that brings comfort in Psalm 23.  “Sparing the rod” means to not be a loving, involved, comforting parent who gives the discipline and correction our children so desperately and constantly need.  To be a passive parent is to despise your child.  To choose to discipline them without physical force is not.  Biblical discipline and wise input is alwayscomforting.  This can be one of the hardest things for me to remember and put into practice with my children, especially when I am tired and they are being foolish. However, if we want to reflect the gospel of Jesus to our children and our world, we must get this right.  We must remember to give loving comfort to our children as we correct their foolishness and instruct them in wisdom.  After all, this is how God deals with us.  Thank his goodness and mercy!

I live in the South, and I was raised in a Bible-beating, I mean Bible-believing church.  What I see and hear from the average “conservative” church these days disturbs me deeply.  My dear hubby turned on the television the other morning and found a local preacher broadcasting his church’s sermon.  I knew I wouldn’t like it, but  I listened along.  Here is what I heard in a nutshell:  1. Look at all the people “out there” who are hurting the cause of Christ.  (At this point he told stories including the governor of South Carolina and other anonymous “big sinner Christians.”)  2. People are watching you, so you better be good.  If not, you’ll hurt the cause of Christ too.  3.  Stop pretending you are good to everyone at church.  Let’s be real with each other.

Okay, I know that may be an unfair summary, but it is pretty close.  Anyone ever heard a sermon (or a thousand sermons) on a similar theme?  Each sentence is laden with guilt and brimming over with “try harder.”  At the same time, there is a sprinkle of “but let’s be real, we aren’t perfect” thrown in.  Anyone besides me see the inconsistency here?

Let me put this bluntly and simply.  This is NOT the gospel.  And those of us who are still listening to sermons like the above weekly or those of us who still have those “tapes” ingrained in our minds from growin up on them, well, we need to stop and rewind and record over.  Listening to this false gospel week after week or day after day is like a steady diet of fast food and junk.  It is the church’s equivalent to Fast Food Nation, and it is just as unhealthy and detrimental spiritually.  It has lulled the American church fast asleep in its fat, happy self.

Romans 1:16 says, “I am not ashamed of the gospel , because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyon who believes. . .”  Gospel is a greek word that means good news.  The true gospel of Jesus liberates and it is powerful and it changes lives and it is good news.  The problem is that the “evangelical” church in America is often not proclaiming this gospel at all.  Depending on the denomination, the “gospel” has a twist and a slant, but it is often a far cry from the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Let me illustrate.  I’ll start with some of the problems with the above-mentioned, typical sermon.  First of all, how can we expect our church members to “be honest and real with each other” when we are not doing the same?  When we talk about “those awful sinners out there”, we give everyone the idea that the church is not for sinners, not big ones anyway.  Oh, we can talk about some things we used to struggle with “back in college” or in our before-Christ days.  We can even talk about acceptable sins such as yelling at our kids or working too much.  These “sins” can be overlooked.    This dear preacher I was listening to was doing exactly what he was telling his congregation NOT to do.  He was pretending to be better than he is.  This is my deepest struggle as well.  We all want to be better than we are.  We all want a formula to guarantee life will work for us, that our marriage will stay together, that our kids will turn out okay, and that we will do enough to be  pleasing to God or at least feel pretty good about ourselves.  Again, I say to myself and to you:  this is NOT the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.  It is not good news at all.

The gospel always has to start with “me.”  Jesus said in Matthew 9:12-13, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’  For I have not come to call the righteous but sinners.”  The gospel starts with this:  I am a big sinner.  Me.  I am.  Not those people out there.  That only serves to make me feel better about myself.  That only gives me a false sense of self-righteousness, and I do not need more of my own righteousness.  I have plenty of that, and it smells bad to those around me.  I need the righteousness of Jesus.

I am a big sinner, a much bigger one than I realize.  I remember something my graduate teacher, Larry Crabb, told our class.  He told us that we all need to remember that within ourselves we are a whole lot more like Adolph Hitler than we are like Jesus Christ.  And this “big sinner” stuff is not laden with a ton of self-imposed guilt:  “I’m so bad, I’m so bad, I’m so bad.”  No, not at all.  It just is true, that’s all. 

And when we start there, we can embrace the good news.  I am wildly and deeply loved and cared for.  I am sick, and there is a doctor!  I am a sinner and Jesus came for me.  He doesn’t expect me to start being good and stop needing him.  I will always need Jesus, and this pleases him.  This is the way he designed it to be.  I can tell others about my failures to love, the ones that happened this week and this morning.  How I would rather my kids just leave me alone for awhile than to care about them.  That I want my life to work more than I want to know Jesus.  That I struggle deeply with lust, discontentment, depression, despair, anger, whatever it may be.  That Jesus meets me in a real way in the real life I really live, and he has not only forgiven me and cleansed me, but he has also clothed me in his righteousness and goodness.  Now that is good news that I am not ashamed to proclaim.  That is the powerful stuff.