I’ve always loved tadpoles, ever since I was a little girl and would see them in streams and ponds.  I especially loved to watch them in my Aunt Eunice’s goldfish pool.  This year I decided to try watching some of them metamorph into frogs.  This was after two failed attempts a couple of years ago.  We ordered a couple of tadpoles from a biological supply company.  We also caught a few others in a huge puddle in the woods this spring when we had so much rain.  I watched and cared for them best I could, while all but one died.  I figured it was almost time to count this as another failed attempt and watched daily, expecting to find the little guy dead.

After about three months, the strongest one still survived.  One happy morning I looked in on him and noticed tiny, almost see-through hindlegs.  They grew quickly over the next week, and almost overnight front legs emerged.  He still had a long tail, and I figured it would take awhile for it to shrink.  But it shrunk to a stubby little thing overnight and was gone completely in three days.  What a wonder of nature to watch a frog emerge from a polywog!  And our little treefrog (no larger than half an inch) is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen!  Check out what it looks like here, best I can tell.  Funny thing is, it started thriving and transforming when I stopped feeding it the “tadpole” food from the company and began giving it goldfish food! 

The above comic comes from Brian the Angry Art Teacher.  It is a humorous expression of a common lack of understanding.  Probably one of the most misunderstood and misquoted Scriptures is “Spare the rod, spoil the child.”  The correct quote comes from Proverbs 13:24, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.“  Another Proverb states, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

Question is, what is the rod?  This article is an interesting and thought-provoking summary of the rod as an idea of instruction and loving discipline, rather than a big stick.  Hmmmm.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about this idea, and it makes a lot of sense to me in light of other Scripture.  Listen to this favorite verse from Psalm 23 in light of the above:  I will fear no evil, for you are with me.  Your rod and your staff, they comfort me. 

These verses both use the same word for rod, shebet, but because of our cultural conditioning, we think of them very differently.  We love being comforted by the words of Psalm 23, and then we somehow move on to Proverbs and think we are supposed to use utmost strictness when dealing with our children, so that we do not dare “spoil the child”, which we’ve already shown is extra-Biblical. 

Let’s look at the Proverbs verse in light of the Psalm scripture.  He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.  This is the same rod that brings comfort in Psalm 23.  “Sparing the rod” means to not be a loving, involved, comforting parent who gives the discipline and correction our children so desperately and constantly need.  To be a passive parent is to despise your child.  To choose to discipline them without physical force is not.  Biblical discipline and wise input is alwayscomforting.  This can be one of the hardest things for me to remember and put into practice with my children, especially when I am tired and they are being foolish. However, if we want to reflect the gospel of Jesus to our children and our world, we must get this right.  We must remember to give loving comfort to our children as we correct their foolishness and instruct them in wisdom.  After all, this is how God deals with us.  Thank his goodness and mercy!

These shoes would make my youngest daughter’s heart dance and leap for joy.  I’m telling you, she would be in paradise.  Found the picture at Fairy Shoe Princess.  Yesterday afternoon, I took my three kids out for a fun jaunt as a treat.  We went to McDonald’s (I didn’t eat), then to the mall to eat a cookie and ride the carousel.  After the fun, I wanted to stop in a favorite store and see what was on the clearance rack.  I found a dress for my 6 year old, a cute pair of pants for the 4 year old, and a fun headband for either, all for $20. 

But my Mollie (4) found something else that stole her heart and wouldn’t let it go.  She found shiny pink slippers with a colossal pink gem on the top.  She needed them.  She craved them.  She carried them around the store and to the counter.  She had to have them.  Problem was, I had just bought her some shiny pink shoes at Target the week before.  I said no.  I put my foot down.  Not buying those shoes.  Well, I paid my $20 for my bargains, and she was still holding onto them.  I had to tell her that the alarm would go off if we left and she was still holding the beloved shoes.  So, out of shear terror, she let go of them.  BUT she was not happy with me!

In the car, she let me know, in no uncertain terms, that she didn’t like me right then.  I clearly explained that we can’t get everything we want, and it can be hard at times.  Her response (with an attitude): ”You just need to go to Dumb School to get even dumber.”

Somehow, miraculously, I didn’t laugh at the time.  I made it home and gave her a stellar time out and talking to.  But, I can’t quit thinking about that comeback.  Not an attitude I want to see in her, but you’ve got to admit it is comical.  I mean, where did she come up with that?  She is four, not fourteen.  When I told my husband the story this morning, we both had to turn away and die laughing.  What ever am I in for in the teen years?!

Sometimes I ask myself this question about my parenting.  The answer is usually much less than desirable in several random areas.  For example, last night, when my mother called to ask me a question, my 8 year old son picked up the other phone and began talking loudly into it while I was trying to answer her.  Not to be outdone, my 6 year old daughter interrupted him to scream a loud hello into the phone.  His choice words to her were a bit lacking in kindness, “Put down the phone, you rat.”  Or what about last night’s sit down dinner?  One after the other three kids did something vexing.  Jonathan prayed a silly prayer.  Anna kept on burping out loud.  Mollie informed me that kids don’t put their napkins in their laps - they keep them by their plate so they can reach them better.  Note to self: no formal dinners with children for another decade.

Okay, okay.  “Uncle” already!  I give.  I can’t be a perfect parent.  I can’t raise my kids faultlessly, on their sweet days, nor on their beastly ones.

However, I can continue to attempt to emphasize the right things.  By the way, I take a rather laid back approach to this parenting thing.  Don’t get me wrong - it is dreadfully important to me.  I just almost went insane trying to do it “right” my first year or two at the profession.  I’ve learned to enjoy it a bit more, and I take a kid-friendly approach.  We paint on our windows.  We jump on our couches.  (Sometimes.)  We  build forts with blankets that take up the entire den.  We watch t.v. and take naps snuggling together.  You get the idea.

I’m just hoping to continue emphasizing the important things, and eventually the other stuff will either be forgotten or hopefully we’ll all laugh about it.  (Definitely not winning any parenting awards here.)  So, what is the important stuff?  I don’t know - kindness (not ours to each other, but God’s toward us), the grace and love and power of God, things like that.  I overheard a conversation yesterday that put a little swing in my step.  In the car, my 8 year old and 4 year old were talking.  It went something like this: 

Mollie (4):  Once there was this really good angel.  But he wanted to be God.  He is a meanie head, and I hate Satan.  I had a dream that he was trying to get me. (I know, I know this is heavy stuff for a 4 year old.  It gets better.)

Jonathan (8):  Don’t worry, Mollie.  God will put his mighty angels around you at night, and Satan can’t bother you. 

Mollie:  I used to dream about baby angels after mommy would pray that for me.  I thought the angels were snuggling with me and they had pacies too.

Let me tell you, we all had a hearty laugh about that one.  Angels with pacies.  Definitely some theological issues there.  But the love of God had translated.  She was a baby, and even then God was meeting her.

How am I doing?  Some days I have no idea.  Others I feel okay about it.  Still different days, it is so hard and I’m failing so much I want to quit.  Maybe a better question is, “What is God doing in spite of me?”  Now that one I can see plainly.  And it is good, good news.

This is what my four year old Mollie said to me this morning on the way to her school.  I laughed, ”You’re right, Mollie.  I do not look beautiful.”   Gotta love the honesty of kids.  No make up and not enough sleep, I guess. Hmmm, maybe I need a spa day.  (Yeah, like that’s going to happen anytime in the next 15 years.)  Oh well, beauty is just black-eye deep, right?

I wanted to be the first to wish you a happy Groundhog Day! 

We had fun this year making our predictions.  Anna colored two pictures, one of a groundhog with his shadow and one without.  Then she asked everyone, family, friends, and neighbors, which they thought it would be!  We posted our forecasts on the fridge and waited.

The funny thing is we had our story wrong.  Everyone was thinking that if the groundhog (Punxta-whatever-his-name-is) saw his shadow today, a sunny day, that would mean an early spring.  The opposite was true.  If he sees his shadow it’s 6 more weeks of winter.  Guess the shadow scares him and he goes back in to hide for 6 more weeks!

You can read about the real thing here.  And he says 6 more weeks of winter!

I just have to share this wonderful news.  We have a HAPPY boy again!! Our son, Jonathan, is 8 years old and has struggled with fears, worries, depression,  and explosiveness, due to an organic cause.  His brain just gets stuck on bad stuff, or on something he wants, and it just sends him all to pieces if it doesn’t happen.  We have lived through a few years of dealing with this on a daily basis.  He also has dyslexia, and this can be a discouraging phenomena for a second grader.  All of these have combined to make his life, and ours, quite a challenge at times. 

Things that are routine for others, small frustrations that inevitably occur, changes in plans, or small things like fatigue, can wreak havoc in our day and his life.  He completely melts down.  And it isn’t like he is just “being bad.”  He tries to control his frustration and emotions and literally cannot.  Then he is plagued with guilt and just feels deplorable afterwards.  It has been exhausting and heart-breaking to walk through with him.

Recently, we began giving him some natural supplements that have made an amazing difference - Omega 3-6-9, and Neurolink, a compound formulated by Dr. Amen specifically for someone like Jonathan.  It contains a whole bunch of good stuff:  L-Tyrosine, Gamma Aminobutyric Acid, L-Glutamine, Inositol, Taurine,and 5HTP.   Now if you’re thinking, oh yeah, right.  A natural supplement won’t help any.  I was skeptical myself, for months.  When things were at their worst, I read about how natural supplements could help, and I was totally turned off by their promises.  I still don’t like these boasts.  But, for us, getting the right supplements into Jonathan’s body and brain, has made a significant difference. 

Now, I’m making a disclaimer right up front, that I am NOT saying all of our problems are gone, nor that all of his tendencies toward inflexibility are cured forever.  I’m pretty sure our struggles will resurface.  But we do have a happy boy again.  He is laughing his contagious laugh again.  He is handling frustrations with a bit more objectivity.  And only someone who has walked through something like this with a child or loved one can really know what I mean.  We have Jonathan back.  And it is good.

If you are dealing with any type of special needs with your child that involve ADHD or any type of anxiety issue, I would recommend checking out the site of the Amen Clinic.  There are online tests you can take to help you figure out what your child may need.  There are suggestions for dealing with these issues, as well as recommended supplements for specific types of ADD. 

Dr. Amen is the first person I have heard of to break down ADD into six different types.  Also, he has extensively used a brain scan method that helps identify the place in the brain that is misfiring, so to speak.  It is fascinating to see these scans of the brain that actually help us to understand specifically what is going on in the brain and what needs to be done.   On the site you will find information about attending conferences or visiting a clinic, and even making a consultation phone call.  I’ve benefited from simply reading the information and from trying the supplements.

I just want to say a big “Amen” to the Amen Clinic!

Okay, thanks to my dear friend, little redhead, I found animus to make a fun activity a bit more of a January tradition.  She was inspired by the book Night Tree to make a new Christmas tradition of filling a tree with all kinds of goodies for nature’s animals and critters.  We weren’t that far ahead of the game to take action on the idea in the full month of December, plus we needed some fun activities in quiet January, so we adapted it just a bit. 

We strung popcorn and cranberries and made bunches of pinecone and peanut butter bird feeders.  Then we chose a tree in our own back yard to fill with these goodies.  The kids helped me decide on the name, “The Giving Tree”, because the birds and other creatures do get a bit hungry in the long cold winter, and it must be such a delightful surprise to them to find such a richly loaded tree in a barren season.  We finished our tree early this week, and so far we’ve seen doves, chickadees, squirrels, cardinals, and finches having a hayday with the goods.  We threw some extra popcorn on the ground, and tossed out a few orange and apple slices also. 

I love the visual art representation below, called Ode to the Giving Tree by Tjasa Owen.  It is a fun tradition, but it is also a word picture of what I want my life, and my kids’ lives, to be - a source overflowing and giving nourishment to any and all who find it, especially in wintry times.

Yesterday we were having one of “those” days.  You know, the kids had been sick for several days, it’s coooooold outside, and we all had cabin fever.  It was about 5 o’clock, and they were beginning to fight.  Like cats and dogs.  I was grumpy.  My son was sad because the neighbors couldn’t play.  Not a good picture at all.  And quickly going from bad to worse.

Then out of nowhere the kids came up with a plan.  They decided to make some fun out of nothing.  They began to plan a party of sorts for the evening.  It began with “pin the tongue on the froggy”, a picture my middle daughter had colored that day.  Then we had dinner and brownies with pink icing that they helped decorate.  We rolled around on the floor and did flips and airplane rides on flying feet.  Finally, we relaxed in front of a cozy roaring fire (my husband’s specialty) and played games.   Animal rummy.  Uno.  Break the ice.  And our all-time favorite - Old Maid.  You should have seen the suspense on the face of our four year old Mollie as she hoped against hope she wouldn’t draw the Old Maid and the silly giggling when she did.  We laughed so hard we cried.

But the grand finale by far was the hide-in-seek-in-the-dark with flashlights.  Imagine this.  Every “hider” had a glow stick bracelet.  The only light on in the entire house was the fire in the fireplace downstairs.  The “seeker” held a flashlight that wasn’t turned on until the loud counting was complete.  Then the sound of small feet padding on the stairs as we took turns running  to hide.  Concealed giggles as we searched in the dark for those glowing bracelets or for some give-away sound.  The eruption of roaring laughter and screams of surprise when discovered in dark hiding places.  The suspense was a thrill even for me.

It was such a disater of a day.  And those delightful kids turned the evening into one to remember forever!

The other night on the way home, we drove by a local assisted living apartment building for the elderly.  My daughter Anna looked over and said dreamily, “I just luuuv those hoomans.  I love those hooman beans.”  

A few weeks earlier she had participated in a caroling outing to those apartments, and she fell in love with the kind residents who so appreciated the young voices and hands to hold.  Guess we’ll have to go back!